Lezel Safi: On Life, Law, and Hitting Her Stride
Watching Lezel Safi stride through the hushed, blue-chip dinner crowd at Broad-way 10 Bar & Chophouse in downtown Oklahoma City on the first truly hot day of the year was like watching a tiny, elegant tsunami wearing high heels and red lipstick. Her bright energy rip-pled through the room. The atmosphere became instantly more interesting in her wake, almost crackling. She took her seat and immediately ordered a single classic martini, which she sipped, chatting candidly about her law career, life and philosophy. This woman shies away from nothing.
Safi, an attorney, is a powerhouse. Her recently founded law firm, Cunningham-Safi, is focused on an innovative approach to family law. “My firm takes a holistic approach to family law,” she explains. “I know that sounds new-agey, but really it’s about mental health.” Her goal for her clients is to take steps to address any issues or challenges needed in order to make it to the other side in a healthy, productive manner, especially when children are involved. “I want to help take the emotion out of it, because operating from a place of high emotion doesn’t lead you to good results.”
In the moment, she understands, her clients may grapple with this approach. “The best analogy I can offer is that a divorce is like a house fire. We’re going to get you and your kids out, salvage what we can and move on. It’s ugly, hard and it’s going to hurt. But we’ll get you through it as healthy as possible.” If her clients need counseling for themselves or their kids, she connects them. Most do. If they need financial counseling, investment advice, estate planning help, you name it, Safi will find it for them. “I really want to help people,” she says.
The idea that family law could be a platform for helping to heal others came to Safi one day, a sort of divine crystallization of what had been going on with her own mental health. From the outside, Safi’s life looks perfect – and she’ll admit that it’s pretty darn good. She and her husband, Rick, have been sweethearts since college. They’re raising three wonderful kids, their globetrotting family trips are enviable and their love for one another is evident. Rick Safi is a dentist with a thriving practice in their hometown of Edmond, where Lezel’s family has lived for three generations.
“As a little girl, I never knew what I wanted to be. I never knew until law school, and I was always jealous of people who knew from the time they were young what they wanted to be. Rick always knew. My path has not been as direct.” Safi did her undergraduate study at Oklahoma State University, earned an MBA from Oklahoma City University and spent more than a decade as a stay-at-home mom, volunteering, running, shopping and doing a lot of yoga. Although she kept a smile on her face, “I was absolutely miserable,” she says. “I needed more purpose” – especially by the time the kids were school-aged.
She started law school at 42, re-turning to Oklahoma City University. Law school is no easy feat for anyone. For Safi, it was a grueling blessing. “My extreme anxiety took me to my knees. I always just smiled, even though inside I was dying. The stress of law school was huge. I reached out to the counseling services at OCU, sobbing, with no hope and a huge fear of the unknown.” She soon learned that she suffered from bipolar disorder and extreme anxiety, which had likely been affecting her for many years. “Had I not addressed that, I would not be practicing family law.”
Safi’s ability to empathize with her clients’ experience pairs effectively with her no-nonsense, tough-love approach. She grew up in a family in which addiction issues affected her fa-ther and grandfather, and claimed the life of her dear brother, who died from a cocaine overdose in 2004. “Based on my adverse childhood scores, I shouldn’t be doing any of this. But that’s the thing: I know it’s not an excuse. So while I can empathize, I can also call BS when someone needs to hear it.”
Helping people is in her DNA. A longtime volunteer, Safi gives of her time and resources to causes and organizations throughout the metro, including the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma, and the CARE Center, Oklahoma County’s child advocacy center.
“I love that I can work and make a difference in my community,” Safi says. “I’m at a great place in my life.” •