Woman of Influence: Debby Hampton

Debby Hampton is one of those people who, when she tells what kind of kid she was growing up, it makes perfect sense. The woman is a born leader and connector. She’s just wrapped her 12th year as president and CEO of United Way of Central Oklahoma, after having spent 16 years as CEO at American Red Cross of Oklahoma. In between, she spent four years leading the charge at the Oklahoma Center for Nonprofits.

She will tell you — sans irony — that she has loved every job she’s had. “I know that sounds really, really cheesy, but I've been lucky. I mean, really lucky,” she says. “I’ve had days that I knew were going to be really hard. But I've never had a day that I didn't want to go to work.” In fact, this woman loves her work so much that, when asked how she unwinds and recharges, she explains (with a straight face), that she does so by… working. She’s almost apologetic about it. “It's embarrassing to say that I don't have a lot of hobbies. I do like to travel more now than I used to…” she says. “I work where I love, and it's not really work. I always say it's kind of my hobby as well as work.”

Born in Lubbock, Hampton grew up in Del City, her father’s Air Force career having brought the family there. Hampton’s mom came to the United States from Germany after marriage, not speaking a word of English. The family household was unusual for Oklahoma, in that it was very much an “English as a second language” home. “My brother and sister are older, and they were born in Germany. And so for me, having the military base so close, and a lot of kids that had kind of similar experiences, it felt very, very comfortable.”

True to form, young Debby was socially very active in school. “I was totally not involved in sports at all. I'm horrible at sports … I'm very competitive … but it was more the social piece. That's probably why I love fundraising; it's why I love the nonprofit sector. It was all about relationships. For me, it was getting to know everyone at Del City High School. It was important for me to know as many people as possible, all the different groups. So I was friends with the drama kids, the athletes and all the kids. It just kind of makes sense that I'm where I'm at now. But I didn't know at the time. I didn't even know what a nonprofit was.” But she clearly remembers raising money for different school events and projects and loving it. The die had been cast.

Natural inclinations aside, Hampton’s family and upbringing sharpened her conviction that helping others is, really, the most important thing we can do. And if there was a little jewelry in the mix, all the better. “My father, after the military, was working for Mercy Hospital and I remember him coming home with this little pin. Back in the day United Way gave you a pin when you gave your Fair Share, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And I wanted one,” she says, laughing. “But he taught me even at that young age about giving back, and about why it was important to help others.”

Motivated, social, smart and empathetic, Hampton also happens to be a person who thrives in chaos, a quality that was honed to near-perfection during her years leading disaster response teams at the Red Cross. “I prefer to be in the trenches,” she says. “I am that girl. I mean, I always have been. And I think that's 16 years of working with the Red Cross. The more chaotic it gets, I tend to get a lot calmer, but move a lot faster.”

Before Hampton, who holds a degree in psychology, joined the Red Cross, she worked for a counseling center as a mental health case worker. “I loved that job. I loved the clients. But back in that day, the caseloads were so high, it was very, very difficult. I had about 130 clients on my caseload. To this day I think that if we could just tackle behavioral health, gosh, the impact it would have on all other areas of health and social services.” The struggle of people who suffer from mental illness pervades every part of society. There is no demographic, no place in the world, left unscathed, including Hampton’s own family.

Michael and Debby Hampton, married some 34 years ago, were blessed with two sons, Christopher and Jonathan. The boys were extremely close growing up, despite being temperamental opposites. “John was the extreme extrovert. Which is ironic because he's a CPA,” she says. Christopher, a beautiful boy, suffered from severe anxiety and depression, a struggle he was painfully embarrassed about, even telling his parents that he wished he had cancer instead. The Hamptons thought he was just shy, at first.

“By the time we realized that there were issues related to behavioral health, he was probably in middle school. We were able to get him treatment, but then he started self-medicating, right out of high school, and became addicted to opioids. So then we had the secondary issues.”

She pauses, eyes filling and takes a slow, deep breath. “I tell people all the time, it is a brain disease. We did all types of treatment for Chris. You do anything for your child. We took him to treatment centers all across the nation. I saw his brain scans. And you could just see the difference in Chris's brain versus that of a so-called normal brain.” Years of treatment and therapy seemed to help. “Chris ended up doing really, really well. He had been sober for a year and then passed away very unexpectedly, in 2017.”

As she’s slowly been navigating the depths of unfathomable loss and grief, Hampton’s capacity for empathy has become more pronounced. “Suffering such a loss is — you just think differently. I look at people and I know every single person has a story… And after we lost Chris, I can't tell you how many people have approached me because their child is suffering from anxiety or depression, and they want to talk about it. And they know that I understand … I always thought I was empathetic prior to losing a child. But it's a whole different layer. And it's a whole different level. You don't want people to hurt.”

And so Hampton works. She gets up every day and works to mitigate — and perhaps one day help solve — the most painful and difficult parts of the human condition. It’s what she was born to do.